2026 Family and Friends

We've also had the good fortune of having two great MCs, Eric at our first gathering and Shay at our second, helping guide the activities and keep everything flowing. And something I particularly enjoyed this year was seeing how much more comfortable we were becoming with one another. At our first gathering, many of us were still finding our footing, getting reacquainted, and perhaps wondering where we fit in. This time, we seemed to interact on another level. We were becoming more familiar with one another, and it showed.

But here's something I've come to believe: You don't have to fit into this family. You belong to it. What you do with that belonging is yours to decide.

And that brings me to something I've been thinking about since Crystal first expressed her desire for us to get together.

This all began with something Crystal expressed from her heart at Suandra's funeral reception, following her graveside service. She wanted our family to get together outside of funerals. Not because someone had died, but because we're still here. That desire stayed with me, and I could see an opportunity to help make it happen.

Yes, we've worked hard. We've put a lot into these gatherings, and so have others who have stepped up alongside us. But here's the thing: we do it because we want to, not because we have to. We chose to do this, and there's something deeply satisfying about helping create a space where our family and friends have the opportunity to connect.

Now, as we continue developing our ability to connect, communicate, and plan together, there's something you need to understand about Crystal and me. We're in charge! It's just the way it is. We're so much alike, it's not even funny. Personally, I think I imprinted on her. I am older, after all, so I'm claiming seniority on that one! 😂

But seriously, what we're creating isn't about Crystal and me. It's about all of us. We can help bring people together, but what happens with that opportunity belongs to each of us.

Your place in this family is yours to make. I don't get to decide that for you. If I did, your ass would've been at the family gathering! 😂

Belonging is something we participate in, and every day gives us another opportunity to decide how.

How important is getting together? Does it really matter that much? I'm going to tell you something that might freak you out, and I hope it does.

The sense of belonging our children grow up with is shaped, in part, by how we participate in family ourselves. When we narrow our participation down to the occasional holiday, birthday, or funeral because we're busy, because life gets in the way, because there's always something else demanding our attention, we may not realize what we're passing along.

Our children don't just inherit a family tree. They inherit the relationships we help them develop. And when those relationships aren't nurtured, the next generation can grow up knowing they're related to people they hardly know.

Now, you might say, “Uncle FUN, you don't have kids!” You're right. John and I decided we didn't want to raise children. We prefer cats! 😂 But here's something you might not have considered. Your kids are part of my family, too.

I don't have to be their parent to care about their lives, their sense of belonging, or the relationships they have an opportunity to develop. I want them to know their cousins, their aunts and uncles, their grandparents, and the people who came before them. I want them to have stories, memories, and relationships that extend beyond their own household. Not because they have to, but because they have the opportunity.

And that brings me back to why we started getting together in the first place. I could see an opportunity to help create something that would make getting together possible. A place, a time, an invitation, and an opportunity for family and friends to connect. That's the part I can help with.

I can help create the space for connectedness. I cannot create the connection for you. And I wouldn't want to take that away from you, either. Your relationships are yours to develop. Your participation is yours to decide. And your sense of belonging is something you have a role in creating.

Some of us couldn't make it this year. Some of us could. There are all kinds of reasons, and I'm not interested in judging any of them. The gathering is one opportunity, not the measure of anyone's love for their family. But I do hope we recognize that opportunities to connect don't last forever.

After everyone pitched in to clean up and leave everything in good order, six of us remained: Crystal, Gill, Andrea, John, Art, and me. What followed was a spontaneous debriefing session that lasted until about 6:30. We talked about what went well, what we learned, and how we might enhance and improve our time together next year. It was a wonderful way to end the day, and I particularly appreciated that we were already thinking ahead together.

And the planning didn't stop there! We already have a proposed date for next year's gathering. I'll be checking with the office tomorrow to confirm the availability of Hubbard Hall before making the announcement.

And here's what I especially love about that: we're not just planning another gathering. We're learning how to do this together.

Every day gives us another chance to reach out, share a story, make a phone call, visit, or simply let someone know they're part of our lives. We don't have to wait for the next funeral to remember that we're family.

We don't just inherit a family. We participate in making one.

With love,

FUN ❤️

We’ve Done It Again!

Well well, we've done it again! Our second Millhollon Family & Friends Get-Together, and I'm going to tell you something: we've made our mark! Crystal and I may have helped get this thing going, but it was everyone who participated, contributed, prepared food, helped set up, and came together who made it what it was. And that buffet! I don't think I've ever seen a better one at a family gathering. We outdid ourselves, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise! 😂